Setting MOLLY and MONICA’s dorm room. At rise: MOLLY and MONICA are sitting on their beds, the lights are dim and they are watching a video which is being shown on a screen for the audience. MOLLY’s reaction becomes increasingly disgusted while they watch, while MONICA’s is wide eyed fascination. The set on the video shows a Hollywood producer’s office. FRANKIE D’KEENERWEINER sits behind a desk, decked out in dark sunglasses and a garish, shiny shirt, unbuttoned to his navel. DANIELLE DEVILTAIL and BRANDI GOODHEAD sit on a couch wearing very tight, short skirts and tank tops. DANIELLE is licking a lollipop enthusiastically.
Frankie
So, you gals are actresses?
Brandi
Yeah, we have all sorts of…talent. (sleazy porno music begins to play)
Frankie
You (pointing to BRANDI) come over here and let me take a better look at you (BRANDI slithers up on his desk, FRANKIE pulls up her shirt and squeezes her breasts, she lifts her skirt up .) Yeah, you over there (pointing to DANIELLE) with that thing in your mouth, you naughty little girl!
Danielle
I like to lick.
Frankie
Yeah, then why don’t you come over here and lick my …
MOLLY abruptly turns off the tape.
Monica
Hey! We’re just getting to the good part!
Molly
This is just too gross! No more. No more.
Monica
Oh, you’re such a baby! Like you’ve never seen a porno movie before.
Molly
Well … uh.
Monica
Or feeelthy magazines?
Molly
Playboy.
Monica
You’ve never looked at people … ? (MONICA makes an “in-out” motion using her fingers)
Molly
Oh my God, I can’t believe how disgusting you are!
Monica
And I can’t believe what a sheltered life you’ve led. How are we supposed to do this documentary on the porn industry if you can’t even watch a movie?
Molly
You’re right. It was a mistake. I should never have let you talk me into doing this.
Monica
Hey, you’re not backing out on me, are you?
Molly
Well, kind of …
Monica
Prissy little bitch! No way you’re getting out of this, so don’t even think about it!
Molly
But the more I think about it the more it seems, oh what’s the word I’m looking for? Risky. That’s it, it’s too risky.
Monica
Of course it’s risky. It’s edgy!
Molly
Edgy?
Monica
Edgy. What separates the dull from the delicious, my friend!
Molly
(She takes the tape out of the VCR) This is edgy? Up and Cumming, even the title is sickening! Did you hear them? “I like to lick!” “Oh, yeah then why don’t you come over here and lick me! Slobber, drool, drool!” Besides, it’s degrading to women!
Monica
Exactly! We will delve deep into the psyche of the porn star. What’s it like having sex with strangers while the camera is rolling. How do you live with the shame and humiliation? Straight to the belly of the beast. This is powerful stuff. Together we’ll expose pornography! (MOLLY begins to chuckle.) What? What’s so funny?
Molly
I just got this picture of us both wearing raincoats and then … never mind. (Scowls, speaks sarcastically) Oh it’s all so edgy. (pause) So why is this Vincent guy meeting with us anyway? Yeah, what’s this big shot porn producer want with two nobody college students.
Monica
I unleashed upon him the sheer force of my personality.
Molly
That poor man! But hey, what’s the real deal?
Monica
Okay! You’re just too clever. I said we could get him some leads through our connections in the film department.
Molly
Leads? You gotta be kidding! Connections? Hah! And why would he want them, anyway?
Monica
Who knows what goes through his twisted mind? Maybe he wants to become a college professor and ball all his students.
Molly
You think I’m gonna buy …
Monica
Oh, your whole “I’m so suspicious of how Monica got us these interviews” act is so five minutes ago, Molly! It’s a done deal, and anyway, I know how to handle his type.
Molly
Really?
Monica
Really, yourself. Look, Molly, why don’t you, as they say, just lie back and enjoy it. Okay?
Molly
We’re getting in too deep, I can feel it already!
(starts to sob)
Monica
Not much deeper than about six inches! Hey, what’s wrong?
molly
I guess I’ve been freaked out all day. That knocking at the window last night.
Monica
Knocking? What knocking?
Molly
A knocking at the window. Like this (MOLLY taps the sound of “Shave and a Haircut, Six Bits”).
Monica
(Laughing) No way. You must have been dreaming.
Molly
Yeah, I suppose.
Monica
C’mon. Lay back and enjoy it. (She puts the tape back on, lays back, her legs up on some furniture, her legs spread, her hand on her crotch) Hmmm, interesting, verrry interesting … Clinically speaking, of course.
Molly
(Molly puts her hands over her face) Ewwwww!
Lights fade.
Sound of a projector clacking after the film has run out.